Grab a shovel, get behind Black Rhino Front

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by admin on June 2, 2010

The Revolution shall not be televised, but perhaps  you might just be able to read about it.Long have we slumbered but as the  prophecy foretold, we have risen. Perhaps it was the magical phrase”You can’t  stop progress” uttered by a local mayor that has awakened us. These are dark  times upon us so a darker incarnation is needed. Yes you reluctant lemmings, its  time to get to the front of the line with the Black Rhino Front.
This time around our party platform will be  bigger and higher but still made of wood. We still pledge to put the mock back  in democracy, but honestly is that really that hard?We also have many local  initiatives that effect your local hamlets.

1 The entire Lapeche region shall be zoned  light industrial, where no person shall lift over 20 lbs. or work more than 2  hrs. in a row.

2 To aid transit, commute jet skis in the  summer and commuter snowmobiles in the winter will be made available. Jumps will  be built at the dams. And by the way where are our personal jetpacks, its 2010  already.

3 To further strengthen the language laws  French must be spoken louder than English in all places of  business.

4  It has been how many decades since  Charles De Gualles fateful visit and still Quebec’s books are not  free.

5  The Wakefield police station shall be  officially renamed the Sheriff of Nott’s Castle because come on, you tell me the  architect wasn’t high and watching Rocket Robin Hood reruns when he designed  that one.

6  All disagreements surrounding local  community centers shall be decided by pitfights. This will save on legal costs  and tickets to these events will pay for the community centers.

Nationally we have many plans as  well.

1 Extend the St. Lawrence Seaway right across  Canada. Thus putting the Panama Canal out of business and establishing more much  needed hard drinking port towns.

2 Converting to a new Canadian currency.  Stronger, harderworking more industrious, the Bucky.

3 No members of the Black Rino Front will  ever consort with busty escorts, all escorts consorted with shall be small  breasted but very, very cute.

4 Canada will be converting to the tad and  the tich system, which is far more universally accessible than our present  imperial/ metric hybrid. Who doesn’t understand a tad more of this or a tich  more that way.

5 Wars shall be fought as a battle between  champions, thus reducing the need for an expensive and corrupt arms industry.  The chosen field of combat shall be horseshoes and handgrenades, so close can  count.

6 Finally no member of the Black Rhino Front  shall defraud the Bank of Montreal with mortgage scams, we will only use  straightforward blackmail, or bridge and swamp cons.

You have the Black Rhino’s sacred oath to  break any campaign promise at any point it suits our political agenda, this of  course includes this specific promise as well.So grab a shovel get behind a  Black Rhino. Success is the only option or failing that failure.

Up the  Front,

The  Black Rhino Front.

Vincent Black  Rhino (Founder)

We  take foolishness, seriously.

Terry Flaherty ( Business Agent)

International Hindquarters, Chelsea

Terry Vincent Flaherty

terry_flaherty@carleton.ca