Rhyno cabinet member prescribes pharma-tourism for river ills


by admin on March 23, 2011

The Editor,

It was with great interest and awe that I stood and sat observing the wonderful spectacle March 15 in Masham, concerning the proposed sceptic [sic] treatment plant location in Wakefield, Quebec.

The words of our fearless leader, Vincent Black Rhyno, echoed to me over the hum of disbelief and trickery, words that were spoken while he was descending into the medicinal pools of ancient mayan shamans: “ ‘Tis best to absorb the medicine through the skin, because the tongue can deceive.”

Many words were spoken that night, some weighty others light, while images flashed on screens, not unlike the shadows in Plato’s cave. But what resonated loudest was the tension between those sitting behind the tables, like a scene from the Last Supper, paused, all waiting for something true to shine through and break the stupor of indifference and deceit, in a sense, waiting for Judas to step forward.

I often wonder what hides behind contempt, the type that refuses to bend or allow humility to listen and guide, and in the eyes of one man sitting behind a table I caught a glimpse of the fear and trembling, nascent and emerging, bulging his chest in a defensive posture and I felt compassion.

It was at that moment that the words of our fearless leader came to me like a flash flood, dragging everything into the river of my consciousness. Pharma-Tourism. If the experts are correct in their analysis that pharmaceuticals are very difficult to break down and accumulate in the water and are then absorbed by those inhabiting the river, we may be onto something.

Imagine the draw of a medicinal river, the magical healing powers of a Pharma river buffet. Every borough along the river could lay claim to specific healing qualities by capturing and retaining the intact residue of flushed pharmaceuticals.

Train stations could be built along the river, allowing passengers to sample the healing powers of big Pharma at a fraction of the cost, heck, people could use their imposed provincial assurance medicament to pay for the voyage.

People would flock from far and wide to fill their five-gallon gas cans with Chelsea water pumped from the river. Like Nevada, the fallout from this industry could cover all municipal expenses, and we could all share a cup of tea at the Meredith Centre, feeling really good about ourselves. As for those who still feel grumpy about the whole thing, we need only throw them into the river at the Burnett ecstasy beach and all will be well.


Jacques Legault

Burnett, Quebec


Ed note: The writer is the Black Rhyno Front assistant secretary-general.